Life After Layoff – A Month Later

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I was laid off last month for the first time in my life. I returned from a vacation to find out that the company restructured and eliminated my position. This situation is new to me because I have always had a job my entire adult life.

I am not as stressed out or anxious as I thought I would be. I’m not worried anymore about a job and company that didn’t care about me. I have used this time off to take some free online courses I have been interested in. I am also building new daily habits of exercise and Bible reading. As time has gone by, I’m feeling happier about life and look forward to waking up each day.

However, some days are more challenging than others. I’m being picky about what jobs I apply to. There are days when I scroll through hundreds of postings, but nothing interests me. There are days when time escapes me, and I haven’t made any progress on my goals. There are days when I doubt what direction my career should go in. Should I change my occupation entirely or start my own business while I have the time? If so, what would I do instead, and where would I begin?

There are many options and directions I could go from here, but it does get overwhelming when I think about it. For now, I’m taking each day as it comes. I will continue to be thankful for everything and everyone in my life.

“…Winging it still takes wings.” Grey Matters

Grey Matters: Poems About Mental Health and Healing, by Kristen Costello, exceeds my expectations. Its poetry resonates with the deep, dark thoughts we have all had. The poetry in this book covers many topics on mental health, including anxiety, suicide, and eating disorders.

Grey Matters is arranged thoughtfully and leads you through all the emotions behind the most common mental health topics, but it won’t leave you in the dark. There are poems of healing and hope included in the mix.

I found many familiar thoughts and feelings throughout the poems in this book. Grey Matters is a book I will be rereading for many years.

Thank you, NetGalley and Kristen Costello, for granting me access to this book in exchange for an honest review.

“I watered 

all the flowers 

except for me 

and 

wondered 

why I wilted.”

Pouring, Grey Matters

The Condemned: A Memoir For All

“That’s when it hit me. Building that name, that voice, that presence is so important for the success writers crave, that I forgot the most essential aspect of writing is living.”

Shari Lopatin, The Day God Stole My Computer

I have been following Shari Lopatin for many years, starting with her original Rogue Writer blog to its most recent iteration on Substack. I’ve always found her writing to be thought-provoking and engaging. It’s been a pleasure to see her grow as a writer and I was thrilled when she released her first fiction novel, The Apollo Illusion in 2018.

Her latest book, The Condemned is a memoir and is due for release on September 9, 2023. I had the honor to receive an Advance Reader Copy and wanted to post my thoughts for others who might be interested in it.

I don’t often read memoirs; however, I couldn’t pass up The Condemned. I was intrigued by the unique idea of using past short stories, essays, and poems to weave a cohesive story about its author, Shari Lopatin. The emotions that each piece evoked further draw you into her story and give you a peek into her heart and soul. More than that, each raw emotion portrayed reminds you of a similar time in your past that further connects you to the author’s story. We have all felt condemned, depressed, outcast, confused, loved, and full of hope; Shari’s memoir captures all of it beautifully.

Find out more about her book or pre-order from one of the links below. Please note these are special pre-order deals. Prices will increase after publication on Sept. 9, 2023.

• Amazon eBook $2.99: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C55VG175/ref=nodl_?ref_=pe_3052080_276849420&dplnkId=451c68e8-7ae4-44ef-8dfd-079ace9128cf
• Barnes and Noble Paperback $8.99: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-condemned-shari-lopatin/1143483579;jsessionid=3A5C617A6313CDB536BC0663B5DD2A4E.prodny_store02-atgap06?ean=9780999782736

Contact or Follow Shari:

• Shari’s e-newsletter, Rogue Writer – https://sharilopatin.substack.com
• Shari Lopatin’s website – https://sharilopatin.com
• Email – shari.lopatin@gmail.com
• Instagram – @writershari
• BookBub – @sharilopatin

It’s Christmas Eve!

As I sit in the warm glow of our Christmas tree, I’m reminded of Christmases past. Childhood times where I waited, with my sister, in anticipation of opening presents and scoping out the tree while we waited for our parents to wake up. Sad times where there was an empty seat at the table and a loved one still missed.

The last two years have been hard on so many people who have lost loved ones or jobs. I admit it’s been mentally difficult to endure for me even though I haven’t lost as much as others.

I’ve been looking forward to this Christmas because it’s a joy to see my young adult daughter still delight in the wonder of Christmas. She loves to decorate and bake for Christmas. She loves dressing up to take Christmas pictures with her boyfriend and going out on Christmas Eve to see all the extravagant house lights in our area. I know that one day she’ll have a home of her own and she’ll go all out with her decorations as her way of enjoying the season.

As I continue to reflect on the meaning of Christmas, there’s one thing I anticipate more than all the gifts under the tree or the feast on the table. It’s the gift of Jesus and his eventual return. The imperfect world we live in, filled with sin, division, hatred, and selfishness will meet our perfect savior who will make everything new. No more sickness, death, and sadness for those that have received his gift of redemption. Peace and joy will reign and we will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

As I watch the world around me spiral further out of control, I can rest in the fact that He is in control of it all and has a plan for us all. Even though I get frustrated at times because I can’t see where I fit in to His plan, I know He’s still working everything out in his perfect time and I am at peace.

I pray that you, too, have peace in Jesus. Merry CHRISTmas!

Righting the ship and getting back on course

All the good habits I had at the beginning of the year have gone by the wayside as I’ve gotten way off course in life. As the year has dragged on, it’s been harder to maintain the life schedule l had at the beginning of the year. I sleep way more than I used to and still always feel tired and worn down.

As this crazy year comes to a close, I’m hoping to use the start of the new year to get back on course. Like many others, I gained “the COVID 19” and want to get back to focusing on my physical health. I know my mental health has suffered this year. Getting back to things that make me happy and have a positive effect on my emotional state will be important.

I know some “experts” are saying not to make any resolutions. The funny thing is I haven’t made resolutions for years because I would never keep them. I feel like this is one year that I need to try to set goals or resolutions to help me get back on track with a life that is still very much stuck in a pandemic.

My family bought a treadmill online, which will arrive next week and will help with physical health. I plan to return to writing more blog posts to help process all the current craziness of life. I will be looking over the online learning courses I bought last year and schedule time in my calendar to complete them. I will continue to declutter and <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="http://<a href='https://www.bonanza.com/booths/MyYardSale24?fref=rNpqJUa4'>Check out my booth, MyYardSale24post collectible toys online for sale. I want to set a general cleaning schedule to avoid spending my weekends catching up on cleaning. I will not feel guilty about relaxing with a good book, playing a fun video game, coloring, or writing to recharge.

This past year has pulled my ship way off course and made it list. As the new year starts, it’s time to right the ship and get back on course.

It’s also time to leave behind the pains and frustrations of 2020 and burn the ships.

A 6K Journey

I spent some time this morning walking for a good cause. Six kilometers, or 3.7 miles, is the average distance a person in the developing world has to walk to find water—water that is often not safe to drink or wash their hands with. I walked that same distance so that someone else no longer has to.

During this crazy time, it’s good to “get out” and do something that will benefit another person, even a person I don’t know.

• 

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Global 6K for Water

If you want to learn more about the Global 6K or sponsoring a child, such as Aichatou, visit World Vision.

Thankful for the small things

With all the hardships, stress, and uncertainty caused by the current pandemic, it’s nice to find small things to be thankful for. Whether we may be stuck at home or be hanging by a thread as we head to another essential work day, where others are depending on us, all around us are small miracles. We shouldn’t let those escape our notice, for it’s those little miracles that keep us going through all the hard times.

Small things I’m thankful for:

The forced quiet time at home that’s given me time to catch up on reading and reconnect with my creative side.

The Saturday board games with the family and my daughter’s boyfriend, where we’re all having fun and enjoying each other’s company.

The world may be stressful, but think of the small things you’re thankful for right now and let that bring a smile to your face.

I’d love to hear in the comments what small things you’re thankful for.

Read My New Short Story About Mental Health for Free: ‘Pomegranates’

A poignant short story about mental health and well-worth the read. I have followed this author for many years and her stories and writing are phenomenal.

Shari Lopatin

“They say Arizona is a place for folks to start over, and that’s what I had in mind when I landed in the high desert of Prescott. I remember, it was the year the sun rose red over the United Kingdom, and boilin’ wine flowed across the hills of Northern California.”

~ Pomegranates ~

Sometimes, a story reaches so close to your heart, you decide to publish it for free. A gift to the world.

That’s how I feel about my new short story, “Pomegranates.” I’m giving it to you for free–to read, to ponder, to share with your friends, or family, or book club.

Read “Pomegranates” now.

What is ‘Pomegranates’ About?

“Pomegranates” is very different than my debut novel, The Apollo Illusion, which was a science fiction dystopia. Rather, “Pomegranates” is contemporary realism, more akin to the styles of Where the Crawdads Sing or The Prince…

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In answer to “What if you feel you don’t fit in anywhere?”

(I posted this “letter” to a private forum after a women’s event, but felt it would also be a good general post. It has been edited somewhat from the original post to better fit a blog post format.)

To the lady at the Women’s Breakfast who doesn’t fit in:

Neither do I! In all seriousness though, I haven’t “fit in” since before junior high. I have always had a quirky personality, which I have learned to keep hidden in public to keep from being judged. I’m a master at feeling alone or outside the circle in rooms full of people. I can still be easily described as a “wallflower” or “misfit”.

I have always been a socially-awkward “misfit” and, honestly, when I got to the breakfast today, I dreaded finding a seat, as my mind flashed-back to the cafeterias of my youth. I’m very introverted and shy and probably would have stood at the back of the room with my plate the whole time, but I was lucky enough to find an open seat at a table with a couple of other ladies I knew. I wouldn’t have known either lady, except for the fact that I had met them in past Bible study groups. It’s nice to see familiar faces in a crowd of “strangers”.

The thing about finding a place to “fit in” is that you have to LOOK for it, if you want to FIND it. “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. [Luk 11:9-10 NIV, emphasis added]. Just like me, you won’t find your “place” unless you go looking for it and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.

If you think about it, as Christ followers, we’re all “misfits” and don’t “fit in” to this world. As it says in John 17:16, “They are not of the world, even as I am not of it.” Therefore, we find our place among like-minded Christians as our place of refuge, strength, and belonging, but we go out into the world as misfits who are trying to help others see the “light”. I encourage you to change your perspective from feeling as though you don’t fit in at all and look at it as though you’re a puzzle piece searching for the correct spot. As a puzzle piece, you definitely fit into the puzzle, it’s just a matter of matching up with the correct spot. A little trial and error in the process is part of the fun of putting the puzzle together and the picture is definitely incomplete when there’s a piece missing.

I obviously don’t know your specific situation, but I felt the need to reach out as that particular question during the breakfast broke my heart and I completely understand the pain behind the question.

Your sister in Christ.

Be Still

“Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10a (NIV)

After I became a mother, I didn’t know how to “be still” and, if I’m honest, I’m still not good with being still. The NASB versions translates the verse as “cease striving,” which I think is also an apt way to put it. We all need to stop and focus on our creator. Know that everything is in his all-powerful hands: every breath, every step, every trial and triumph.

Life has kept me caught up in the day-to-day, with no quiet time for reflection, introspection, or creativity. When I was younger, I had time get away by myself and write lyrics or poetry. It was something that kept me whole and sane, but as the years progressed I put that practice aside and now I find myself trying to get back to that quiet time, where my heart can sing out in praise and anguish, in joy and sorrow, to my God who holds me in his hands.

The lyrics below were written in one of my rare quiet times:

Let me be still, teach me to hear your voice

Comfort my soul, direct me to the right choice

I long for your peace, I want to feel the joy

Let me be still, I want to know your voice

I long to be in your presence

To be still and know you are God

For your strength to stand

When my world crashes in

I want to shine as your light

And be a servant of hope

I will sing praises to you

Because your ways are higher

You gave me the Word to light my path

I pray that I God will nudge me more into stillness with with Him and I pray He does the same for you.